Thursday, February 11, 2010
I doubt myself a lot. I guess I'm like most people. Especially, most women. It's okay for us to celebrate and admire others. To support, facilitate and nurture our loved ones. But we somehow leave ourselves outside of that circle.
Many people don't know that I am now on the other side of a depression that lasted for many years. I hid at home, cried to myself and felt I would die of loneliness. No one really knew. It wasn't my place to ask for help. During this time, I read many things that encouraged self-care. What do we have if we don't have ourselves? What can we give if we are empty on the inside? I was not able to give. Rather, I was taking. Grasping at anything that would make me feel whole.
None of us have the ability to change time. To move it forward or to go back. But each of us have the moment. This moment is yours. You can choose what you will do, think or feel in this moment. But once this moment is gone. You cannot change it. Once I realized that I could grow just a little bit moment by moment, I started to feel more in control of my life and more importantly, the way I felt about my life. Now, when I doubt myself, I choose to change my mind... If only for a moment.